On Housekeeping and State Dumplings

It's rare that I deal with such trivial matters as housekeeping, so you'll have to indulge me while I write a whole post that is neither snarky nor particularly interesting nor that uses the word of God as a catchy platform for a series on venal sins. It's just...housekeeping.

First off, I put links to the "Best of," which is really stretching the Greatest Hits concept since I've only got a handful of posts on here, period. (Then again, if Hillary Duff can have a greatest hits album after only two albums so can I. She might as well have just called that compilation "One Half the Crap I Sang" and been done with it.)

Then I thought that nothing would motivate me to write the rest of the Deadly Sins more than to clearly admit on the home page that I only have 3 of the 7 Deadly Sins done, and they're all the pansy ones.

Lastly, I put an (fictitiously named) email address up so that people can contact me, so everyone can stop pointing out now that I don't have one on my profile. And I changed my profile picture. I'll buy a pink martini for anyone who gets the reference.

So here it is, not at all new, but (slightly) improved. Enjoy.

On a side note, during the whole housekeeping process, I noticed someone from Botswana was reading A Walk in the Snark - not just flipping through but actually reading it - and as far as I'm concerned, it doesn't get much cooler than someone from Botswana popping in. So in honor of our Tswanian friend, here are some fun facts about Botswana:

Botswana's national motto is one word, Pula. It means 'rain.' Pretty direct and to the point; way to resist all that flowery "There is no god but Allah and Muhammad is His Prophet" nonsense like Saudi Arabia or "Liberty, equality, fraternity" crap like France. No, they just want it to fucking rain already. Poor Botswana only gets about 300 mm of rainfall per year. Vancouver gets 4,030 mm...and we bitch about it constantly. Think about that the next time you're griping and pulling out the Mountain Equipment Co-op.

Botswana attained independence from the United Kingdom back in 1966. It essentially pulled a coyote ugly and gnawed off its own arm to escape the Commonwealth. Later that year, Bobby Seale and Huey P. Newton formed the Black Panther Party. Chairman Mao launched the Cultural Revolution in China. Kellogg's introduced Apple Jacks cereal. Coincidence? I think not.

Botswana is home to the Kalahari Desert. I know you're all out there going, well, duh! but I bet you secretly didn't know where it was either. Now you do, and now you can shame other people with your worldly knowledge at cocktail parties.

Botswana is the 45th largest country in the world, only slightly smaller than the Ukraine. Now, we all know size doesn't matter all that much, but more importantly, if Botswana has a national treat that even comes close to the tastiness of the perogi, I don't know about it. I'm not even sure if Botswana has a state dumpling. Might be something to look at, in case the former Soviet Union tries to rise and absorb Slavic Europe again and Botswana gets to jump ahead. Not that it's a contest. Because it's not.

The President of Botswana's name is Festus Mogae. Which is probably a totally common name in Botswana, but to us Canadians sounds pretty damn sinister. I hope he's nice. I just can't picture someone picking up their cute little baby all cooing and wrapped in swaddling clothes and going "Awwwww, look, honey. Look at little baby Festus." But that's just me.

Anyway, there's the Walk in the Snark update and a few fun facts about Botswana.



Writer's Post-Script: While reading through national mottos, I came across the very unassuming motto of Austria, "It is Austria's destiny to rule the world." Wow, that's some pure brotherhood there. I can't even believe that Hitler could have come from a nice little country like that.