On A Bad Day at the Office

Firefighter: You wanna tell me what happened here?
Lance: Uh, there was a fire, I dunno, I came by and it's... checkin out the fire.
Firefighter: Well that lady uh, Mona? She said that you two were in the building together when the fire started.
Lance: Yeah, she's a liar, cuz I dunno her so whatever, whatever she says is a lie, so...
Firefighter: K, so you're saying you weren't in the building with that woman?
Lance: No, not I! Aright, she started it, aright? Because she was like "I hate my job, I'm gonna burn this mother down!" And I said "You better not... you better not!"
Firefighter: She said it was an electrical fire.
Lance: It was. It was a total electrical fire.
Firefighter: Why aren't you wearing your pants, Joe?

Ever had the kind of day when you just wanted to turn and walk out of your office shortly after setting fire to it? We all have.

Luckily, we all also have the capacity to overcome irrational impulse. After all, it’s not your office pissing you off. It’s really more the unnatural requirement for you to spend nine or ten hours a day cooped up in it, creating emails that just create work for other people in little offices across the street from you. These, I suppose, are the questionable efficiencies created by the Industrial Revolution, so I guess it would make more sense to torch the collective works of Charles Dickens than to go around vandalizing office buildings. No wait…Dickens exposed the harmful humanistic impact of the Industrial Revolution. So I guess you should light the iron plow on fire, or whatever.

I guess you really shouldn’t light anything on fire, because that doesn’t solve anything.

But still, sometimes you just want to burn that mother down.